(in the bus back to the city)

undergoing a change
..."i think a change'll do you good"..

have had some inspirations recently, will share with you later :)

i'm so anticipating for my study holiday. imagine, seven full days at home, can go out to study in the park and have mcdonald's breakfast with the old ladies, hah.

but you know? i'll really miss my patients, esp mr chan at bed no 5, mr fok at bed 13 and mr chu at bed 41. they've been there since i was back to D10 ward... i hope they problems will be sorted out before i leave for my exam...

left work early today and dashed to the post office to grab my parcel, it hasn't reached there yet! i was so anxious, haha. oh yes, i bought a new camera... a russian one. sounds rather exotic isn't it? i've yet to find its beauty. perhaps it'll come into notice in about a month's time, when i've taken it to london and do some experiments with it...

well okok, i'll tell you a bit more. it's a panoramic. it's called horizon.

thinking about it, i've been rather crazy with cameras. let me count all the cameras i own myself... minolta F100, holga medium format, zero 200 pinhole, fed 3 rangefinder, fed 5 rangefinder, kiev 35a (fake minox), agat 18k half frame, pentax can't-remember-name, canon 350D, panasonic lumix fx9, 大人之科學 pinhole, and now... this one. that's enough, i guess. won't bother any more investments...

went onto ebay, there are hardly any agat 18k nor kiev 35a on the 2nd hand market nowadays. though there are still a lot of fed 3's, which i haven't used at all. most interestingly, there aren't any zeroimage cameras on ebay, reflecting how precious mine is. i logged on to zeroimage.com and fell for the new zer0 716. panoramic format for pinhole camera. but it's not really panoramic in fact. in the end i went for the horizon, one i've had an eye on for more than 2 years....

ok, let me talk about my books next time.

saturday brought some pleasant surprises. i stopped by british council at pacific place to get some updates on london, and it so happens ann was in central, so we met up at ifc's outdoor cafe to have tea. it's called red, overlooking the blue harbour and was lovely. though i was a little sleepy from my night shifts it was just so good. haven't had a relaxing long chat with ann for a long time, it's always a joy to listen to all her tales... and i almost had the whole 2 person high tea by myself. and ann looked ever so glamourous, i wonder if one day i can be half like her...

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went to causeway bay today to visit mackie bookshop. found it on the net and wanted to find a magazine. had it planned for a week, no wonder, i live so far out in the countryside.
it felt like a deja vu, i'd recognised the place. it was some years back when someone once brought me there... oh well, in the end i didn't buy the magazine that i was looking for.. just got a brownie from mrs. field's.

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talked about the japan trip with letty over breakfast. um... it sounds a little possible...

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oh yea, took some photos while i was on the bus this weekend, show you later :)

don't know what to say today...
happy easter

happy easter

it's been one whole year since i made friend with janice. remember she was one of the 30-40-50 that i mentioned earlier in my blog? she was a skinny girl just turned 30, a patient i took care of in the surgical ward last year. by 9 months of experience i was not so bad at cannulating veins, but her veins were needle thin. i'd pretend confident and steady my hands when i was doing it, but was shaking inside, didn't want to ruin her veins, so precious for chemotherapy... she'd always tell me how good i was at my job. i think it must have been God's grace that it always only took me one attempt to do it. then at night when i wasn't busying in the wards, i'd sit down beside her and tell her about my stories. she said, betty, you don't look like the frail girl you talk about in the stories. i see you as a professional doctor taking good care of patients... and our evening went on, chatting and chatting until she had to go and sleep... she was so confident, even hit by a deadly cancer at such a tender age she fought through it with such courage, always smiling and supporting me. it makes me feel so ashamed. after i left queen mary, we got in touch and even her aunt called me up in tuen mun hospital to tell me how she was doing. but deep inside i knew she couldn't fight much longer, the cancer had been terminal since the day i'd met her.... until one day a few months ago i rang her mobile, and a voice recording said the phone has been discontinued. it must be God who took her to a better place. i felt sour deep inside but i know there's no more suffering. she's been so special, though we've only known each other for merely 3 months. she's gone, yet her smiling but frail face will never. oh, i miss her so so much...

one more month i'll be flying to london. 'just' 30 days. how am i going to spend these 30 days in tuen mun...? study till i drop? that's what i'm doing every day now.

though i know i'm trying to find a happy story within an unhappy one... i'm still figuring how to fulfil that.

it'll make me happy just to see helen in the airport. and there aren't any plan for the last 2 days in london after the exam. i guess i'll just dance like no one's watching... and blah blah, blah.

and you know i won't resist the temptation of taking my big camera with me, and my mini sketch book....

and you sure know what i have to bring back from london..............................................

last week i had a chance to go out into the city and i strolled along the streets of mongkok looking for bargains. found a cd of indian songs. i was going to ask dear kandi to get me an authentic one from india, didn't want to buy those westernised indian disco songs from hmv. oh well, kandi i guess you can save some space of your backpack for something else...

i remember 2 years ago when i went to london i spent a morning with charmaine in europe's largest indian temple, in nearsden. it was a huge white marble monument. we mingled into the indian crowd and sat with our bare feet in the middle of the praying hall, and amidst chanting ladies, we were given a bronze dish with a candle in the middle, to 'cleanse' our mind with the flame...

maybe i was indian in my past life, but i don't believe in past-lives.

god, i'm so in need of a holiday. a real one.

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went to get my new id card today, it wasn't so bad!! the photo on it 'was my beautified' version, it made me look like i'm 17, haha! what disappointed me though, was the tree right beside the hoh fook tong light rail station, just 2 weeks ago when i went to take my photo it was blossoming with bright orange flowers, and now they were almost gone...

A walk in the clouds

went into the countryside yesterday. it made me forget about my recent worries, forget about the hazy weather, just relaxed and felt lightness. dunno why, just little things would make me happy, but also simple things would make me sad. just like some pink flowers on the way, a little doggie, the old lady...

it always makes me heart beat harder everytime i go there. it's my secret garden. one i have grown to love. but soon the sun was setting. i had to go. i gazed at the round orange sun and smiled good bye reluctantly. the scene was indeed memorable. just like a light kiss in the secluded garden...