happy easter

it's been one whole year since i made friend with janice. remember she was one of the 30-40-50 that i mentioned earlier in my blog? she was a skinny girl just turned 30, a patient i took care of in the surgical ward last year. by 9 months of experience i was not so bad at cannulating veins, but her veins were needle thin. i'd pretend confident and steady my hands when i was doing it, but was shaking inside, didn't want to ruin her veins, so precious for chemotherapy... she'd always tell me how good i was at my job. i think it must have been God's grace that it always only took me one attempt to do it. then at night when i wasn't busying in the wards, i'd sit down beside her and tell her about my stories. she said, betty, you don't look like the frail girl you talk about in the stories. i see you as a professional doctor taking good care of patients... and our evening went on, chatting and chatting until she had to go and sleep... she was so confident, even hit by a deadly cancer at such a tender age she fought through it with such courage, always smiling and supporting me. it makes me feel so ashamed. after i left queen mary, we got in touch and even her aunt called me up in tuen mun hospital to tell me how she was doing. but deep inside i knew she couldn't fight much longer, the cancer had been terminal since the day i'd met her.... until one day a few months ago i rang her mobile, and a voice recording said the phone has been discontinued. it must be God who took her to a better place. i felt sour deep inside but i know there's no more suffering. she's been so special, though we've only known each other for merely 3 months. she's gone, yet her smiling but frail face will never. oh, i miss her so so much...