(my past like the lights of queen mary hospital in the background, blurred and out of reach)

had a long long dream last night, of you, maybe i thought about you too much before i went to bed. it felt so real, so comforting, yet, i woke up and realised none of it had happened, just my heart, frantically, beating......

i dreamed that i went travelling with you, somewhere far away in a busy and foreign town, it was like we were rushing to a destination, but savouring bits and pieces of what we experience on our way. you were smiling, i was smiling. you were holding my hand and we bumped into our friends, it was warm and so ... i dunno how to describe that. i can feel my nose with a tinch of sourness and my eyes getting wet.oh well!! i know i have to laugh it off and pretend nothing had happened, just like in the dream. after all, it's only me who have thought and done too much.

um, my heart is still dull aching, after i poked a thick needle twice into a young man's belly to draw out some fluid from his abdomen for suspected peritonitis, i hurt him terribly, i knew. but when he said thanks to me twice, it just made me more bitter, hurting people but getting praised for it, i dunno why... isn't it ironic, don't you think?

* * *
"Ironic" by alanis morissette

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic...dontcha think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought...it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic...dontcha think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought...it figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out
when you think everything's gone wrong and
everything blows up in your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife

And isn't it ironic... dontcha think
A little too ironic... and yeah I really do think...