why am i in sorrow still, after 365 days? no, it's been 2190 days.
why have i been insomniac for two whole months and and feeling absolutely drowned in unknown sadness? why am i still hiding feelings in my heart all to myself and not take a step ahead and chuck them away. why am i so fucking stupid... why do i think so much of others when nobody thinks anything of me...

goodbye innocence. i'll keep you right inside my heart, forever. the flowers have wilted, long before you had a chance, which you never cherished and taken heart... you are so ruthless! why? why would you do that? you meanie. i can never get cross, just very, very hurt. don't you remember xi mu-rong's phrase that you read in the bookshop? all out of your mind now? i bet..