(i think, aren't there many secrets in my head...? my best buddy Tessa's home in Exeter)

so my damp eyes took a long time to subside. took the whole of last two days, felt my eyes were constantly 'hydrated' with moist today. too bad, i promised myself (for the millionth time, but anyway let me say it for the last time again!) i won't send silly mobile text messages anymore, at least not to people who don't care about me.

woon kow passed away 7 hours after i last saw her on saturday night. God bless her, she passed away peacefully. i didn't get used to the sight of an empty bed no. 46 this morning, but felt released. afterall, we do our earthly things at our best, and God will manage the rest, won't He?

bumped into my 'twin sister' during the department meeting today, disclosed her about what i felt that night when i was on call when everything in my world seemed to have tumbled down like a bucket of cold water. candia is my senior who looks almost like me with a facemask on, but with much more knowledge and wisdom. she was there too and with me the whole while that day, while i explained the poor condition to a crowd of crying family, while i placed that massive needle into the lady's neck, while i panicked about calculating the adrenaline and dobutamine infusion rates, and pondering on how to handle the ICU lady who slammed down my phone call earlier.... standing by my side in the quiet meeting, she whispered,"you have to be strong! even if the patient is dying, you have to give your confidence and do your best! But you know? you saved the lady's life that day. she wouldn't have survived without what you did."

i guess, that's exactly what keeps me to carry on... :)

night night, have to get ready for another day... i'm feeling much better now, thanks God :)