(lovely view of the sea isn't it? from my room)

On my last on-call night in Queen Mary Hospital. On my 25th birthday. Got woken up to escort two patients to the CAT scan suite. Didn't want to get up and go downstairs at first, but I'm so glad I did. I bumped into someone whom I chatted with two months ago. Lying on a neurosurgical bed was a beautiful Caucasian lady not much older than me, with tubes and things all over her after a major surgery for subarachnoid haemorrhage. She was as graceful as could be. I had to do an electrocardiogram for her and I got talking to her to make her feel more comfortable, until it was too late into the night and I had to leave... Her impression was left in my head but then I heard she got better and soon went home.

So we saw each other again at the CT suite tonight, both of us felt we looked familiar but were too shy to ask. Then I made the move, and she smiled and said she remembered me too! We chatted for so long back in the ward when it was already 2 in the morning, until she got a phone call from her husband saying he missed her so much he's now back in the hospital to see her, at 2am! She told me he's a soulmate of his, and it reminded me of a poem I once wrote to a guy I loved, for the first birthday when we knew each other. I don't remember the exact wordings but it kind of meant how much I would love to be his soulmate. It made me cry thinking of it, it was so innocent and so sweet.

I cannot even doubt that it must be God's birthday present for me, giving me a chance to finally let go of a part of my heart, that was so special yet so tender with even touch. Like Tanya has said, I believe God has his plan for me to move out and reach out. I know that's what God wants me to do. I know the things that she says while walking out with me through the corridor to see her husband and soulmate will always refresh in my heart during my on-call nights. How in wonder I must be to know what I'll become in the not so distant future...

As I learn to open my heart to myself may I grow into a person who has more love to give to others and to myself.