feeling like poo these days, was it just sleeping too much or what? i feel like my mind is totally glued up. emotionally instability, you call it. too much exam stress? too lonely at home? too cold? too tired with nausea? too jealous? too hungry without nice things to eat? too stupid? well, i decided all these's going to a halt today. i logged onto friendster, and finally, after... ahum, a year?, i clicked on his name. this use-to-be so familiar name in my mind now look like the name of a bar... palpitation swamped me and i saw his photos, he finally deleted the one that i took for him, found his list of friends full of unfamiliar girl's names... plonk. was that the sound of my heart on the ground? i don't think it was, i can still feel my heart beating frantically inside. but it doesn't make a difference now. because i now have my own love story to follow. however un-love this love story may be. even though i still believe it's true love that is beyond boundaries.

so there, now i've done it. it should be the end of the story now. after this episode of palpitations i'll save my palpitation for happy times (yes yes, for you...). as mimi says, he's never gonna call you back! why should he!?

couldn't fall asleep last night, after your phone battery went flat. i hadn't finished what i was going to say, only hearing my voice getting louder and louder. i was protesting, not to you, but to myself... i'm angry with myself, being the figure in sad stories. i was longing for comfort. i wanted to hear something warm from you. i'm sorry. i understand. you really needn't be unconditional. afterall, you've already done a very big thing, wiping up most of the old sorrow inside me... though, deep inside, i just hope what you said is true......