(caught in awe at Musee Rodin, Paris, 2002)

on a purple star-studded night at the end of october 2005, i remembered...

one day a year ago, in november 2004, a boy called me up and said hi. we found ourselves sitting in a cafe in happy valley on a cool autumn late afternoon. sipping coffee, he told me the reason why he called me after ignoring my presence for a whole year... he said he went into the kubrick bookstore one day and a name caught his sight. (it was Xi Mu-rong, 席慕容. she's my favourite poet) seeing her name reminded him of me. curious (as if he never knew the love that i had embraced for all that time), he flicked open the poetry book and there it wrote,

『在年輕的時候，如果你愛上了一個人，請你，請你一定 要溫柔地對待他，不管你們相愛的時間有多長或多短，若你們能始終溫柔地相待，那麼，所有的時刻都將是一種無瑕的美麗，若不得不分離，也要好好地說聲再見，也要在心裡存著感激，感謝他給了你一份記憶，長大了以後，你才會知道，在驀然回首的剎那，沒有怨恨的青春才會了無遺憾...』

"When you're young, if you fall in love with someone, please, if you will, treat her gently, no matter how long or short in love you were, if you could treat each other gently, then, every single moment would be beautiful. even if it's time to part, you should say bye bye kindly, and remind yourself of such appreciation, thanking her for giving you a piece of memory. as, when you finally have grown up, you'll only realise, then, at the moment of turning your head back, the youth without hatred is without regrets..."

as we walked out of the tiny cafe, it started drizzling with nostalgia and he embraced me tightly, saying sorry for the first time....

* * *
much regrettably to have remembered it, it seemed it was the last time too.

* * *

鳶尾花

　　——請保持靜默，永遠不要再回答我

　　終究必須离去　這柔媚清朗
　　有著微微濕潤的風的春日
　　這周遭光亮細致并且不厭其煩地
　　呈現著所有生命過程的世界

　　即使是把微小的歡悅努力擴大
　　把凝神品味著的
　　平靜的幸福盡量延長

　　那從起點到終點之間
　　如謎一般的距离依舊無法丈量
　　（這無垠的孤獨啊　這必須的擔負）
　　所有的記憶离我并不很遠
　　就在我們曾經同行過的苔痕映照靜寂的林間
　　可是　有一种不能确知的心情即使是
　　尋找到了适當的字句也逐漸無法再駕御

　　到了最后　我之于你
　　一如深紫色的鳶尾花之于這個春季
　　終究仍要互相背棄

　　（而此刻這耽美于极度的時光啊　終成絕響）

　　　　　——一九八九·五·七