What is a youth? What is happiness

I'm not happy today.
My friend died.
She was a 14 year old girl from Macau coming to Hong Kong for bone marrow transplant. She was well, looking good and happy.
Within a few weeks she was bold, locked up in a room with plastic walls, lines running out from her veins and she became yellow, always vomiting when I went to talk to her. Her smile was gone.
I remembered when she first arrived, looking bewildered at everything, jumping and smiling and talking to me. 'The hospital is a boring place', she told me. I always saw her jumping and running around the ward, acting not exactly like a 14 year old. But then I thought, wasn't it great to be so young and so carefree... what the heck. That is YOUTH.

But now, she's no more. It made me cry hearing this news today. I was shocked to bits.
I cannot believe someone so lively and so 'here' with me was gone. My friend, Tak Fan.
I cannot believe a 4-person family is now shattered. How lonely would her sister be.
I cannot believe why a happy and well-behaved child gets taken away by God. She deserved all the best.

Sometimes, I thought I deserved more too. But now I don't ask for anything else.